I am having a rough time tonight, so I thought I'd better list the things I am thankful for and quit being so negative and sad.
I am so thankful for Binger. I don't think I share that often enough with him. When he is gone, I am much more aware of how much he means to me and how lucky I am to have him. I want to make sure that I tell him that more often when he is home. I guess that means that I am also thankful for the very thing that takes him away from home. I think we had started taking each other for granted a little bit, and these frequent separations make us much more appreciative of each other. But I still can't wait until it's over for good. I am thankful for my parents willing to take care of Kiki for us until she was allowed to come to Hawaii. My parents always support me in anything that I do or need, and I don't know what I would do without them. My in-laws love me just because Binger does, and always think of others first. They are such good, kind people, and I am lucky to have them in my life. I am thankful that I enjoy my job, and that I work with such nice people. But I am truly thankful that I was able to marry my best friend.
It's raining tonight. It's been raining all afternoon. Normally, I wouldn't mind it, I might even welcome it. But, normally, I would be sitting here with Binger, snuggling under a blanket on the sofa, listening to the rain come down. But Binger isn't here. He is deployed, I have no idea where he is, and the rain makes me sad.
When he was a Marine, it wasn't too bad. His one major deployment was longer than those he goes on now as a sailor, but he was able to call me at least once a week, and email several times a week. I never realized how hard a submariner's family has it. No phone call, no emails, absolutely no contact for weeks, sometimes months, at a time. It is hard. For both of us.
